#1: Valerie Mates (valerie) on May 7, 2024

I am thinking about all the people who I wonder "What ever happened to so-and-so?" -- and there is no way of ever finding out.

I'd like to hear people's thoughts about how to address that. Maybe we could create a way that current users, if they wanted to, could save contact info for a person who could be reached if they disappeared from the site, so that other users could check in to ask if you are okay. Maybe people could choose whether that contact info would be visible to all registered users or only to me.

Also, you can register on this site without entering an e-mail address, but I encourage you to enter one. (It's only visible to me.) And if you have been on the site for years, I suggest that you check that the e-mail address in your account is one that still works. To check or update your e-mail address, look on the Settings menu. If you make changes, make sure you click on Save -- it doesn't save automatically.

Anyway, I'd appreciate people's ideas about how to set up a way to reach out and check if people are okay. Does the site need this? Would you use it? Do you ever want to find out what happened to a user who stopped logging in? And, what ever happened to BlackCat? I have no idea, and I wonder whether she is okay, but I only know her as BlackCat or maybe Agnes, and that's not enough info to even do a web search.

What do you think?

I was thinking the same thing. How can we find out what happened to our puzzle creators. Yes, the site needs this. Users should give you their contact info.
Also, a quick question. Are the user bios available to other users? I can't find where to do this.

To get to a user's bio, click on their username (in the parentheses). This works on just about any page, including this one

Replying to Vicki: Hm. So maybe I should add a private "emergency contact info" section in people's profiles, where the info would be visible only to me (and to the person whose profile it is). That way if someone vanishes from the site I could contact the emergency contact person and ask if the person is okay.

I still wonder what ever happened to BlackCat. And so many other people.

Not to sound morbid, but too bad we don't have a page for obits that people could add to whenever someone they know passes that used to use this site.

I'm laughing at the thought of putting a line in my will: contact PBN and let them know what happened to me...

The private emergency contact thing sounds interesting.

Joanne -- Actually topic 1084 is an In Memoriam page that Brian Bellis started fairly recently, to remember users who have passed away. Also, when I find out that someone has died I usually will start a new forum topic to remember them.

Putting a line in your will to let them know to contact PBN would be appreciated!!

I worry about what would happen to PBN itself if anything happened to me. Sigh....

I must admit, as someone who avoids sharing personal information, the unknown, anonymous people likely wouldn't add their contact information anyway. Now, I've not been here long enough to know much of the past nor ongoing relationships this community has developed, so I'm not fully aware of those who've left the site, nor the dearly departed. They may have had intentions to share information, but missed the opportunity or forgot to do so. But unfortunately, I feel that many consider the options, perhaps the risks too of doing so, and decide that it simply wasn't in their best interest to do that.

That's why I'd like to suggest a direct/private messaging feature instead. Although I understand that's likely much harder to implement.

As for my reasoning, I don't think it's too unreasonable to think that a typically private user would share information with the person(s) they formed the closest bonds with. I can only assume some leave this site from toxicity or such, so they would not want to share contact information with them (besides, anyone has been able to do so, via their bios).

Though I do want to add, whether it's true or not, I think a consequence of private messaging means little tidbits that would normally appear publicly could get lost. It also spaces out the community (I think, mind you, I'm 18, and so I have little experience in communities, especially where the people are largely trustable adults).

So actually, a better option might be to let users share their contacts with other, select users on the site - like a private contact sharing instead of dms.
For example, I could share my contact information with Joanne directly, letting her know/asking her in a comments or thread, preventing direct messaging. If it's done this way, perhaps Valerie could also enable herself to see who has contacts with who but without actually seeing the contact information. I think most people would be fine with this - at least I am - could even be a checkbox "Let the site admin know about this interaction? (Your contact information will not be given to the site admin)". So when Joanne clicks on her profile, there's possibly a page only she can see of the contacts of any people that shared it with her, and Valerie (in this example) maybe could see the contacts page, but it only says the username, not the information, (e.g. @quetzalcoatlus, @infrapinklizzard) - though that could be done in whichever admin format you so desire. Perhaps Joanne also has to approve my request to share contact information, so if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to have my information (probably prevents some spam thing too).

Though I'm not sure if any of this is safe for children, although I don't think any children can even find this site lol.

I know I've said a lot, but I am the type of person to think of as many nuances as I can, so I thought it might be best to leave everything in here even though my idea changed midway through, as it may be helpful to you.

This last paragraph is a real tangent though. I hope this finds relevancy to the conversation and also want to thank everyone here for being so nice and generous, and downright awesome. Finding a community like this that isn't (just) a Facebook group (I try to stay away from corporatocracy, although I'm not that good at doing so lol) is like a dream, and the lack of toxicity (from since I've started to be active; I've seen some in older posts) is amazing.

TLDR; private contact sharing amongst any user.

As long as it was viewable by the moderators only, not made public, and as long as it was not made public in any way, I would consider adding my contact information.

I don't participate in Facebook or other groups, but this is a community I've been part of for quite a while and have built some trust in. I don't fear death and understand that it is inevitable. However, as a single person who lives alone, I do worry that something could happen and no one would know. I'm guessing my work (until I retire soon) or close friend who lives nearby would know something was wrong before this community would, but it'd be nice for information to get out if something did happe

I'm not on any social anything. This is as social as I get online, and my fellow puzzle solvers/makers are a plus. The encouragement is always there. I wouldn't trade this toxic free life for anything else online. This place is gold. Thanks for keeping it running, Valerie.

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